Return of Dr Nogood
by SharanMcQuack
Summary: Dr Nogood from "Double O Duck" has escaped from a SHUSH jail and is after his patented ink vanisher in DUCKBURG. Mr. McDuck and Flintheart Glomgold have called a truce to defeat their mutual enemy! Of course Launchpad is in it, duh!


The Return of Dr. Nogood  
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.

One day, Launchpad got a phone call from Bruno Von Beak, who is still pretending to be Launchpad over at St. Canard. Sorta.

Bruno calls himself "Launchpad Brian McQuack" (the real Launchpad has no middle name) and uses a fake SS # that isn't Launchpad's . So it as if they just have the same first and last name. Bruno acts as DW's sidekick.

DW is clueless that Bruno isn't really Launchpad (and equally clueless about just about everything else.) (1)Gos knows, but she keeps her beak shut. Who's Bruno hurting?

As long as Bruno thinks he's found the perfect place to hide from the cops and SHUSH, he's happy. Which is why SHUSH isn't going to tell Bruno they know what he's up to.

"Listen, Launchpad, this is Bruno..." Bruno said.

"Oh, the OTHER Launchpad." Launchpad said.

So he's just a tad annoyed by this masquerade.

"Dr. Nogood's escaped from a SHUSH prison " Bruno warned.

"Feathers also escaped in the confusion and met up with me She warned me about Dr. Nogood's escape. She's heard he has more of his patented ink vanisher hidden someplace in Duckburg...Do I have to draw you a picture?" Bruno asked.

"No, I get the picture and it ain't pretty. I'll warn Mr. McDee about the possible threat to the money in his Bin." Launchpad said.

Launchpad did so. Mr. McDuck hit the ceiling when he heard about this, seemed to think it was somehow Launchpad's fault (what ain't?) and ordered Launchpad to come to the office in the Bin to discuss this matter.

Before Launchpad left to do so, he made one more call, one he thought he'd never make. But this was a BIG emergency and it had to be done.

"May I speak to Flintheart Glomgold?" Launchpad asked Flinty's long suffering butler. "Tell him it Launchpad McQuack. Much as I'm tempted not to, I need to warn him about a threat to his money."

"What do YOU want? What this about a threat to my money?" Flinty screamed into the phone.

"Dr. Nogood's on the loose. He's got his ink vanisher again. He'll be after your money..." Launchpad began.

"MY money's in banks, where it's insured. I don't have a Money Bin like some obsessed idiots I could name. Why should I care?" Flinty asked.

"Dr. Nogood told me when I captured him that YOU paid him to come up with that ink vanisher in the first place. You planned to use it against Mr. McDee's money." Launchpad continued. "I forgot to mention that to SHUSH."

"You have no proof. Even if Dr. Nogood is recaptured, it'll be his word against mine and he's a known criminal." Flinty interjected.

"I know how crooks think. He's going to blame YOU for his capture, since you paid him to come up with that ink vanisher that got SHUSH on his tail in the first place " Launchpad finished. "You own stores in Duckburg, banks in Duckburg...what happens WHEN he erases the money in your stores and banks?"

"Trouble. So what do you want from me?" Flinty asked.

"I suggest a temporary truce between you and Mr. McDee. He's not going to like it anymore than you do and I haven't asked him about it yet. Do you agree to work with Mr. McDee until this crisis is over, assuming Mr. McDee will agree to do likewise?" Launchpad asked.

"Don't have much choice, do I? If Dr. Nogood starts erasing money all over Duckburg, I'm bound to lose a lot." Flinty mused.

"And if Dr. Nogood is back in a SHUSH prison, nobody is going to ask about where did he get the money to invent the ink vanisher in the first place." Launchpad said.

" Try a double cross and I might oh so innocently ask about that, might remind people just who was bankrolling DW's enemies. Even if nobody can prove anything, do you want SHUSH looking into that?" Launchpad threatened.

SO... Mr. McDuck REALLY hit the ceiling when Launchpad brought Flinty to the Money Bin's office.

Mr. McDuck "escorted" Flinty to the mansion, then return to the office to bawl out Launchpad.

"Are you crazy, bringing in my worst enemy into this? What were you thinking?" Mr. McDuck thundered.

"That Flinty has as much to lose as you do if money is erased as you do. " Launchpad replied. "That he's a royal pain in the you-know-where that we have to put up with. That he doesn't come in handy often enough to lose on a chance to make having to put up with him worth it.

"Eh? When did Flinty ever come in handy?" Mr. McDuck replied.

"When you got kidnaped and he told us where to find you so none of his employees would try kidnaping HIM. (2) " Launchpad reminded. "When El Captaine got his paws on that lucky charm with one doozy of a catch attached and Flinty helped us take it away. " (3)

"Your point being?" Mr. McDuck asked.

"I don't like Flinty any more than YOU do! He manufactures defective planes and defective plane parts that KILL innocent people, passengers and pilots alike!" Launchpad replied. "But he's here whether we like it or not. So we might as well take advantage of one of the few times when he comes in handy.'

"And since Flinty would lose a fortune if money was erased, too- he has every motivation to help us." Mr. McDuck mused.

"Especially since Dr. Nogood might not be able to break into your bin to erase your money. Your Bin's a lot tougher than any bank. ""Launchpad pointed out. "Even the Beagles have never succeeded and they have a lot more experience trying."

"And I have a good deal of gold stored in my Money Bin. Also, a lot of the my money in the Money Bin is gold, Krugerrands and such." Mr. McDuck muttered. "Flinty may have more to lose if money is erased then I do!"

"That's what I figured! Flinty doesn't want money erased either! He'll help us- for awhile." Launchpad said.

"He'll also stab us in the back if we give him half a chance!" Mr. McDuck replied.

"Maybe that's why I think it's a good idea to know where he is and what he's doing?" Launchpad asked. "It's kind of hard for him to stab us in the back when he's in front of us!"

"OK, OK, I'll work with him. But I won't like it. Or trust him." Mr. McDuck muttered.

Thus, an uneasy truce was declared.

"I already talked to SHUSH, they're already looking for Dr. Nogood and are on guard for him!" Launchpad said.

"He'll attack in a way they don't expect! From underground like last time or maybe from the air!" Flinty put in.

"You seem to know a great deal about how he thinks!" Mr. McDuck accused.

"I read the papers! Reports of Dr. Nogood's attack on the banks of Switzerland were all over the papers!" Flinty responded.

"Never mind that NOW! Where could Flinty attack that would hurt BOTH of you?" Launchpad asked."All of the banks in Duckburg are owned by one or the other of you, not both."

"Duckburg Mall." Mr. McDuck and Flinty said as one.

"Plenty of shops, taking in lots of cash. Since they take different credit cards, shoppers often use cash as that's accepted everywhere." Flinty said.

"There are plenty of ATMs there." Flinty said. "They use the money from the mall to reload the machines. Saves time."

"So there's plenty of money there and ATMs and stores are less well protected then banks." Launchpad said. "Not to mention plenty of innocent people around to use as hostages or distractions if the cops interfere

Nobody expected Dr. Nogood and his nogoodniks to arrive by TOUR BUS. But that's what they did. They were disguised as ordinary tourists. Duckburg Mall is crawling with tourists spending money, so nobody noticed them.

However, when Dr. Nogood came to the mall with his "boys" intending to blank money, he found the mall was holding a "your money's no good here" day- free $5 mall gift cards (you had to spend $15 to get $5 free, only good for that day)were being given out to all shoppers. The shoppers grabbed them, delighted at the clever ad gimmick.

They loaded money on the cards, their money was quickly taken to the banks. Result: no money for Dr. Nogood to erase. By the time Dr. Nogood got there, everybody was buying stuff with the gift cards or credit or debit cards.

"Have to hand it to you, Mr. McD. This stunt of yours prevented the money from being erased without causing a panic." Launchpad said admiring.

"And knowing "human" nature, they'll spend three times as much as normal, to celebrate the "free" five dollars they got." Mr. McDuck agreed.

Dr. Nogood and his boys were momentary baffled by all this. However, one thing hadn't been counted on: rubberneckers. The last of the money from the ATMs was supposed to be safely in the banks by now. But curious people had milled around and watched and delayed things.

Every time the guards took money out of the ATMs, people watched and blocked the way. When they took the money to the armored car, people watched and blocked the way

When they loaded the money onto the armored car, people watched. Each time the guards had to slow down to make sure nobody tried to steal the money. This slowed down things considerably..

So the last of the armored cars had not left yet when Dr. Nogood and his nogoodniks arrived.

It was Flintheart Glomgold who noticed the rubberneckers. And pointed them out to our heroes.

"One of the armored cars must still be here! Dr. Nogood will go after IT, not mess with the money transfers towards it!" Flintheart warned.

True. The bad guys surrounded the armored car. They squirted dirt and oil all over the windshield. The armored car couldn't go anywhere since the guards couldn't see where they were going The bad guys grabbed several of the innocent onlookers and shoved them in front of the armored car.

"Get out and surrender or we'll shoot them in front of you!" Dr. Nogood threatened. "Give us the money and nobody gets hurt!"

"We can't open the car. We don't have the keys. They're at the bank." the guards fibbed.

"Nonsense and fiddlefaddle. We saw you lock the car up. If you can lock it, you can open it. Do so, or their blood is on your hands." Dr. Nogood said.

What could the guards do except reluctantly hand the money over?

Dr. Nogood and his henchmen opened the moneybags. The ink vanisher has to be sprayed directly on money to erase it. The bags were full and nearly all of the bills were new ones.

Because of Flintheart's warning our heroes (and Flinty) got downstairs and outside in time. Launchpad and Mr. McDuck heard the commotion and ran out to see this. Launchpad was about to do something, when strangely, Mr. McDuck grabbed him.

"Don't! Don't try to stop them!" Mr. McDuck ordered.

"But?" Launchpad asked, shocked the Mr. McDuck apparently didn't care about money,

"That money is from YOUR stores, too! Not just mine." Flintheart said. "I'll stop them if you're too scared!"

"They're wasting their time. You'll see." Mr. McDuck said.

Meanwhile, Dr. Nogood sprayed the money with the patent ink vanisher. A few of the older bills were erased, but the new money was unharmed.

Dr. Nogood stared at the perfectly good money in shock. He sprayed it with the ink vanisher again and again, nothing happened.

"It's...it's not working! How?" Dr. Nogood asked.

"You've been in a SHUSH jail for awhile, so perhaps you haven't hear how they changed the design of money a few years back?" Mr. McDuck asked.

"That was to prevent counterfeiting." Dr. Nogood replied.

"They also changed the inks. Your ink vanisher doesn't work on new money. And by the time you're out of jail again, the old money should be out of circulation." Mr. McDuck said.

Then, Dr. Nogood and his nogoodniks saw they were surrounded by the police.

"I knew you wouldn't believe me until you tried to erase new money and it didn't work." Mr. McDuck said. "So I did my best to make sure that the last shipment of money out was all new money. I missed a few bills, but no one's perfect."

Dr. Nogood was so disheartened by this, he just gave up. His henchmen tried to run, but Launchpad had an attack of the "clumsys" and next thing you now they were out cold and soon had handcuffs on them.

When they came to, their rights were read to them and the cops took them all to jail.

"You knew the ink vanisher didn't work any more and you didn't TELL me?" Flinty asked.

"It still works on old money. There still is plenty of it in circulation. It shouldn't still be." Mr. McDuck replied. "YOU manufacture the laser printers that made counterfeiting easier. I suspect you profit from the counterfeiting. Can't prove it. Yet."

The End.

1)My apologies to any and all DW fans out there. I don't like him. Keep Launchpad OUT of it and Disney can bring DW back for all I care. Let HUBBA be his sidekick Have BUBBA trade Footsie for a pterodactyl and fly him and DW around St. Canard. Just don't expect ME to buy it.

2) In "Mr. McDuck is Missing" by Yours Truly.

3) In "Where is the Luck?" by Yours Truly.


End file.
